Are you ready for a story?
I LOVE to tell a good story...and I think I have the makings of a good one. So, grab a snack and take a seat 'cause here we go!
I have a few um lets call them quirks that I am trying to work out or my system, kinks if you will. One of them is my inability to talk to guys. Well I can talk to guys, just not ones who are attractive or single. My therapist pointed out that it is the guys who have "potential" ie they could be available for ahem marriage. Now, let me just clarify that I haven't always been SO "special" when it comes to boys. Well I was definitely as a child but then I kind of grew out of it in my later teens and such and then I had a traumatic experience. All joking aside it really was hard and 'caused me to doubt much of what I believed about relationships, men and women, marriage, men and everything to do with them. So, I stopped being able to converse with or even look at men in the eye. I didn't want to be around them. I didn't trust them. My world had turned upside down. Don't worry this is where we cue my therapist and he tells me little gems like, "Okay, this week we are going to focus on just talking to boys you don't think are attractive...". I loved my therapist, he is great. I have come along way since his words of wisdom but I am still not totally normal, well I guess I am hovering around about where I have always been, and that is semi awkward in some situations, all of which involve guys. For instance, about a year ago I was running a show at BYU. I saw a guy in the audience that I knew from a class. I could tell he kind of liked me and he waited around after the show to talk to me but I PANICKED and ran into the girls bathroom before he could get to me. Who does stuff like that? It was pretty hilarious though. I am sure if we could video montage the awkward boy moments in my life it would be AWE inspiring and the hilarity factor would be through the roof! hahaha
So! Onward with this story. You had to hear that last part to truly appreciate this next part.
I had just moved back from St. George and needed some new contact lenses. So I went on down to my local Walmart and walked into the vision center. I saw 2 male workers. One was young and tall and rather gorgeous looking, you know just my type of guy. 6'3", great smile, friendly, open face, broad shoulders, FP, and he had strawberry blond hair. He was new. I had never seen him before. The other guy is one I have interacted with alot, he is married, middle-aged, looks like this guy. Only minus the smile. He looks like he is the most unhappy man alive. He was also on the phone at the time I walked in.
Okay, so who do you think I picked to approach? You've got it! NEWMAN. I started walking towards him. But wait! GASP! All of a sudden, I was being intercepted by the good lookin' red head. PANICK! He was smooth. He didn't even give me the option of being helped by Newman. He wanted to help me out. He did his salesman approach and asked me what I needed today. I needed contacts. He wasn't awkward at all. He just sat down, looked up my file and sold me $120 worth of contacts. Don't worry. I got a $20 dollar rebate out of the deal. Anyway, he just jumped right into a conversation with me. Asking me all kinds of questions. Where I was from, where I went to school, what I was studying, you know normal questions that somehow make me sweat and talk slightly different when responding to a man, an attractive man. I didn't totally fail. I asked him the same questions in return. I learned that he was from the Mid West, he is in his last semester at UVU, he already took the DAT a few years ago and did ok, a 16, and now he is taking it again so that he can become a dentist, his name was Brett. He made me laugh too. So I went along on my merry way with my $120 worth of contacts, how do salesmen do that?Anyway, I made the ahem, mistake, of telling my sister and brother-in-law about this encounter and how I wish I could get to know the contact guy, not newman but Brett, you know outside of the contact store. Amber got excited and passed the phone to Jim so that he can give me some advice on how I might possibly go out with this guy...
Ladies and Gentlemen. Here are his words of wisdom.
Bake him a Pie.
Yes. That is how he told me to catch a man. Bake. Him. A. Pie. A homemade pie. Not a store bought pie. One made with love in my kitchen and brought to the vision center in the Walmart. I burst out laughing! A pie?! Seriously? Not brownies, or cupcakes or cookies. A pie. hahahaha. Bless his heart he was serious too. "What man would turn down a pie?" he says. I don't know. Maybe one whose mother told him not to take anything, especially food, from strangers? Hahaha.
But seriously, what do you think? Would you bake this guy a pie? and deliver it to him at the Walmart with your phone number? I am sincerely asking, I want to know what you think.
So a few weeks passed and I had moved on from the vision guy. I mean, it just wasn't realistic...I moved into a new ward and met someone new. I can't say his name but his last name might be a fruit. Anyway, I called my sister to tell her about this new guy I was crushing on and to get some advice. She used to be quite the little foxy vixen in her day, she still is in my opinion. So I asked her what I should do to talk to him/meet him etc. and guess what her answer was? Yup thats right. BAKE HIM A PIE. hahaha. A pie? Seriously? Can you see it now? "oh hi, (insert name), i um wanted to meet you so i uh brought you a homemade pie". The only thing that would accomplish would be him thinking I am crazy and I guess it would make good daytime TV! So I laughed and she handed the phone over to my brother in law. He stuck with his answer from before. Bake him a Pie. Ugh. haha thanks for the advice guys!
But seriously, what do you think? Would you bake this guy a pie? and deliver it to him at the Walmart with your phone number? I am sincerely asking, I want to know what you think.
So a few weeks passed and I had moved on from the vision guy. I mean, it just wasn't realistic...I moved into a new ward and met someone new. I can't say his name but his last name might be a fruit. Anyway, I called my sister to tell her about this new guy I was crushing on and to get some advice. She used to be quite the little foxy vixen in her day, she still is in my opinion. So I asked her what I should do to talk to him/meet him etc. and guess what her answer was? Yup thats right. BAKE HIM A PIE. hahaha. A pie? Seriously? Can you see it now? "oh hi, (insert name), i um wanted to meet you so i uh brought you a homemade pie". The only thing that would accomplish would be him thinking I am crazy and I guess it would make good daytime TV! So I laughed and she handed the phone over to my brother in law. He stuck with his answer from before. Bake him a Pie. Ugh. haha thanks for the advice guys!
A couple weeks later I was reading some blogs, Green Wedding Shoes to be exact and this was posted. Pie In a Jar. Isn't that the cutest thing ever? Perfect little pie jars.
If Pie really is the way to a man's heart then this Blog may just be my GOLDEN TICKET to happiness.
At churchg today the announced FHE is the whole ward, and guess what the theme is? PIE! Do you think this is a sign? I'm thinking about going...we shall see. ha
Maybe I could take a poll amongst the men and see what they say about the powers of Pie and the man's heart.
